Social media can be a beautiful, positive tool. It’s hard to imagine doing anything creative without a little Pinterest scrolling to get our minds flowing, or tapping through Instagram to find some fabulous home before and after’s. A well phrased Google search can find a solution to just about any question you might have. I can spend hours and hours looking for inspiration. My social media home design inspiration board, on both Pinterest and Instagram Collections, is big.
It can, however, hinder us. I see square after square of beautifully designed spaces, and homes that always look clean, and it makes me feel like I’ll just never get there. I’ll never have the money, I’ll never have the talent, I’ll never have the time, I’ll never… you get the drift.
I was starting to feel really discontented last week. And when I say discontented, I was REALLY upset. I started to hate our new house. I started to get really angry at all the little “surprises” that keep on popping up (especially the retaining wall on the side of our house, which, all of a sudden, decided to fail within the first week of us moving in. Repairing this retaining wall is going to prevent a bathroom remodel for at least another year!!!! And we need to remodel THREE bathrooms!!!!!!!!)
I was getting more and more upset, and then I made myself pause. I reminded myself of two truths I know and so easily forget:
Comparison is the thief of joy.
Don’t judge your beginning to someone else’s middle.
Here’s the thing… I can choose to be angry or I can choose to be content. It really is a choice. Jensen and I worked really hard to get this house- we jumped through a lot of hoops and sacrificed a lot to get to a place we love. It’s not going to be perfect. It’s never going to be perfect! No one has the perfect house, and I do mean, no one. Every home has it’s quirks.
Emily Schuman of Cupcakes and Cashmere had a thought provoking Instagram post a few weeks back of a beautiful bouquet of flowers. Her caption was talking about how everything in her home is a huge mess because she’s been busy living her life and working so hard and being a mom, but this one corner of the house, with this vase of fresh flowers- it was “killing it.” It was a poignant reminder that we use social media to show the best of us, and, while that’s ok- who doesn’t want to see more beauty?!- we need to ground ourselves and realize that it IS just the highlight reel.
It’s okay to feel the mean reds once in a while. It’s okay to wonder if you’ll ever get to where you want to go, in whatever way that means to you. But please, for your sanity, don’t stay in that space. Use that to fuel your fire, to push yourself to where you want to be. You are capable of so much more than you realize. You’ve made it through every trial you’ve been through before- don’t let social media be the thing that stops you from growing and building and living your best life. That’s right- YOUR best life. It’s your life, and your definition of best is yours alone. You can’t compare pizza to ice cream- they’re both so good, and doing so would be ignoring the great things that each of these foods have. Your life is the same way- don’t deny the beauty and meaning of what you’re creating by comparing it to someone else who is living their journey.
Last Friday, I took a big deep breath, and I made a weekend to do list. It was tangible things I knew Jensen and I could accomplish on Saturday that would help me feel better. We worked really, really hard, and let me tell you- working on that back patio and getting my closet shelving fixed helped change my outlook. I felt like I made progress on what is, unquestionable, a big project. And I felt a whole lot happier.
We’re all just doing our best, friends. Just keep on trying, and keep on making your life beautiful. Enjoy the journey.